It's Asylum, don't expect any thing good. Asylum is quite possible the worst production company on earth. No talented directors, writers, actors. The stories are complete trash and generic. It just infuriates me that these films get made. They don't even try to make good films, they don't have talent and their hearts aren't in it. Hollywood is a degenerate place now, it's 95 percent horrible people. And 5 percent good people. It's all about money. Oh well, lets get to this film.
SPOILERS AHEAD
I could predict every moment in this film, I knew how the first three characters were going to act in the first second of the film. Luckily we never see them again. There are no scares, no atmosphere, no nothing. Penny is our hero, she is a complete idiot. She doesn't believe in ghosts, and there for breaks their code or whatever. And that gets every killed. This is exactly like TCM(2003), one person gets everyone else killed. The characters are annoying, one of them I wanted to physically hurt, that's not a good sign. The ending is absolutely hilarious, I'll get to that in a minute. It's one of those movies that doesn't accomplish anything, and it leaves feeling like a idiot.
THE STORY: So penny is pressured into breaking into the haunted house she works at, so some overly ecstatic guy can get his Joly's. The first half of the film is poorly done, the house is small and cramped. The ghosts never have any motive for what they are doing. Keith the psychic says they aren't evil, yet they do bad things. It doesn't make any sense. Giselle is the only good character, she knows not to be messing around with stuff that can't be explained. She is the only one that knows something bad is going to happen. But she falls down the stairs and breaks her neck. I felt sorry for her. Then Craig cries like a b-tch because he might get accused of her death. He then pulls a Sorority row plot point, and wants to dispose of the body. No one else wants to do it, so I'll give them props. But I seriously wanted someone to beat Craig down, I hate that guy so much. Vanessa was just plain strange, can't act or just told to be weird, I don't know. So at this point I realized, hey there's no nudity. Wow thats a first for this company. But oh wait, some random woman with ugly fake breasts flaunts around. I should have saw that coming. So everyone is killed in completely ridiculous ways, and that leaves penny as the last one standing. She actually manages to fend off the ghosts and some skinless demon. But do you want to know her fate, it was like I just got coned by a con man. She trips down the stairs and dies (I'm laughing while writing this), what a klutz. It's not bad enough Giselle died that way, Penny died like that too. I can't get over how dumb that was, but it was unexpected that she would die like that. I thought the ghosts would take her right after she walked outside the house and say something like "it's over". And now she is permanently attached to the house, forever in this purgatory. Sucks to be her.
I didn't expect much, so Asylum didn't disappoint there. It's just a average bad movie, not' much else to it.
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