I'm not sure where to begin with this one. I caught this film at it's premiere last night and only a couple minutes in I knew this was going to be real bad. It reminded me of something a child would have written.
There is no pacing in this film whatsoever. It seems like scenes are cut and pasted together with absolutely no sense of tone. It is very jarring how it jumps from one scene to the next. By the time Kane Hodder was giving his unnecessarily long monologue as he died in someone's arms, I was cracking up. It was then that I realized I had to treat this movie like I was watching The Room. It truly is unbelievable how flawed it was at times, but it makes for some great unintentional comedy. The bad dialogue, editing, poor soundtrack choices, and performances are cringe-worthy. I even felt embarrassed for the dogs that were involved in this production (though I will admit there were several cute dogs in this film, and those were probably my favorite parts).
If I absolutely *had* to give one positive note, I would say that it was shot decently. It did look like a "real movie". But in order to make a good movie, you need more than a good camera and a bunch of horror veteran actors involved.
As the film ended, I turned to my girlfriend and paraphrased Billy Madison to her. "Everyone in this theater is dumber for having to sit through that. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." We laughed, and no more than thirty seconds after, the man seated next to us rose up with a microphone and announced that he was the producer. I then realized I was sharing the theater with mostly people who worked on this film. How embarrassing! I assume they're the ones currently giving this a 10/10 rating as well. Avoid unless you're looking for a slasher film that seems to have had Tommy Wiseau as a ghostwriter!
