Nearly two decades on and B-move factory The Asylum is still going strong. This time, they cash in on the Tomb Raider reboot with this 'adventure film' about a female archaeologist on the hunt for an ancient Chinese treasure that somehow links back to her dead mother and the future of China itself.
Pitiful is more than descriptive enough of everything here, but then this wouldn't be much of a review if I just stopped there. The acting is uniformally poor all around, with everyone either doing goofball or hardbitten, though Bowling does try as the plucky best friend. The production values, as is the Asylum's calling card, are beyond amateur, with dull SouCal forests... err, I mean ' Asian jungles', stock footage of China aplenty and Playstation 2-worthy CGI for the 'death traps', like a giant spike roll that's SO not like a famous death trap from another adventure film. As a small positive, at least the sound mix was compotent.
The narrative stinks of a first draft, loaded with rambling scenes, bland dialogue and poorly realised characters with little identity. Everything is exposition and, surprise surprise, that means the movie is more interested in tedious talking than treasure hunting or delving into Alabama's connection with her mother and how it shaped her. There's also barely any action or much 'tomb invading' either, aside from the opening and the very end.
Simply put, Tomb Invader is balls. It's sloggish, it's moronic and it's incredibly boring. Everything is so tacky and lazy yet so self-serious that you can't even laugh at it in that quintessential 'so bad it's good' way that is the hallmark of the more enjoyable B and Z movies.
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