There's a good reason many people never use public phones anymore. Is it 'cause a crazed sniper might be aiming a high power rifle at your heart? No, of course not. People don't like to use public phones because who knows what vile contagious filth is there to smear off onto you. And that's how I felt after sitting through this absurd turd, like I had been infected with something foul. I needed a long hot shower to get the horrible stink off me; the stink of shame for having allowed myself to be duped by its promise of something original, something real.
A slick, vain, arrogant prick that's cheating on his lovely, angelic wife? That's not so original. Oh right, he hasn't cheated yet, but he was JUST about to. HA!! And his lovely, angelic wife might happen to check his cell phone 'cause apparently he can't be trusted. Wait a minute. If she's so pure and wonderful why would she be creeping on him? Not really explained. And the idea of him not having a secret throw away cell phone for his illicit activity is beyond idiocy. There's just no way around that enormous gaping hole in the story. But it didn't stop the imbecilic writers from trudging on with their tedious odyssey.
There's a primal pleasure that this crappy film wants to cater to - the desire to see innocent unsuspecting people exterminated for no good reason - but it retreats from this challenging idea so meekly. Senseless unconditional mayhem is a more honest premise for a movie than the con job this one pulls in needing us to believe that the sleaze ball PR agent might actually deserve to be shot dead. It's so cowardly of the people responsible for this ridiculous film to hide behind this idea. That they must justify their gratuitous mayhem with a moral cause is just pandering to the hypocrites, and that's the definition of depraved. When I annihilate pedestrians when I'm playing Grand Theft Auto I get such a rush. I don't first concoct back stories for each victim of how they have disgraced themselves hopelessly and my mortal violence is an act of divine justice (although that actually sounds like a good premise for a movie). I just love to blow 'em away! That's what a guilty pleasure is all about. But no, in the moral universe of this sad film only the nasty, evil pimp Leon is executed. We all know he was going to hell anyway, right?
Stupid premise, stupid script, stooopid ethics. And stupid me for sitting through this slop till the end. Oh Christ, just talking about it makes me feel slimy. I gotta take another long hot shower...
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